Ten Songs Challenge--Eldritch Tale of Romance
by YeMerryHippogriffs
Summary: A short story based on ten random songs in my library. Uses some elements from the Cthulhu Mythos. Character death, some het shipping.


Fanfiction Challenge—Ten Songs

Song 1: Good King Wenceslas-Buford's Version (Phineas and Ferb)

Once again, the town had lost interest in the capitalist trappings of Christmas. No one was willing to buy presents or decorations, so the town's economy was in the toilet. This year, the boys were caroling to get people to the shops. Cartman had rewritten "Good King Wenceslas" and Kyle hated it.

Song 2: Tip of the Iceberg

Stan decided to take Wendy on an ice skating date. He made Kyle, Cartman and Kenny promise not to come to Stark's Pond while he was with Wendy. Kyle and Kenny said okay, but Cartman had other plans.

Stan and Wendy were good ice skaters. Stan had picked up some tricks from Brian Boitano and Wendy had just practiced a lot. Unfortunately, when Wendy was doing an especially pretty twirl, Stan lost control and vomited. The vomit melted the ice where Stan was skating and he fell into the pond.

Cartman started laughing uncontrollably in the distance.

Song 3: Hero

After the Cartman and Stark's Pond incident, Stan didn't want to go ice skating anymore. So Wendy broke up with him and Stan was depressed. He started drinking again and went over to Wendy's house to try and get her back. Drunk, he held up a boom box and played a recording of Cartman singing "Come Sail Away". She told him that he needed to sober up, so naturally he started drinking more. Stan listened to a lot of depressing music and went through another goth phase. So Kyle tried to cheer him up by taking him to Stark's Pond and Cartman pushed them into the water. They both drowned.

Song 4: O Holy Night

The boys were still caroling. Kyle hates caroling, thought Cartman as he sang Christmas songs from his jail cell. Kenny and Butters were visiting him and singing along. Butters had visited Cartman a bunch of times because he still thinks Cartman's innocent. They decided that they would put aside their whole bloody history and sing Christmas carols for a while, just to escape from the horrible world around them.

Song 5: Panic Inside Hogwarts

Cartman had broken out of jail and assembled a gang of fourth graders to get revenge on the town. He had released a terrorist statement to the press and the town was panicking. Randy was running around and screaming. Sheila was fussing over Ike. The Stotches were looking for their son. Kenny's parents were drunk.

Song 6: Status Quo (Starship Original Soundtrack)

Butters was part of Cartman's gang, but Kenny was elsewhere, with a Cthulhu cult. They had unlocked his hidden eldritch powers and he had transformed into a mini Great Old One. Kenny was pleased with this and decided to go back to town and zap Cartman out of existence. After killing Cartman, he smiled. He had finally achieved all of his dreams. He started looking around for his sister.

Song 7: Polly Wolly Doodle

Kenny went down south to see if he could find his old girlfriend, Kelly. Kelly had curly eyes and laughing hair. Kenny played the banjo for her and took her to Louisiana. Kelly didn't mind his Cyclopean anatomy. They had many strange adventures.

Song 8: Water Music Finale

Kenny and Kelly got married. The ceremony was small, and overseen by a Louisiana voodoo cult, but it was happy. Kelly was then transformed into a mini version of Shub-Niggurath and Kenny loved her even more for her new eldritch appearance. She gave birth to many children by eating up the wedding guests and spitting them out. They lived in a small house in Louisiana. Sometimes, Kenny would write to Butters and Karen. They missed him, but they were still happy. They also got married to each other. Karen's and Butters' parents ended up killing each other with their abusiveness. Karen and Butters lived together in a house in South Park. They often visited the graveyard where Stan, Kyle and Cartman were buried. Stan and Kyle were misesed. Only Butters misses Cartman.

Song 9: When She Loved Me

Kenny and Kelly started to have some relationship problems. Their messed-up kids were a handful, and it was hard to manage the bills when no one could go out in public without driving everyone insane. Kenny ended up leaving to return to South Park, and Kelly sacrificed the kids to the Outer Gods. Kenny moved in with Butters and Karen. He went to the South Park graveyard to deface Cartman's tombstone. He missed Stan and Kyle, but he couldn't die and visit them in Hell. The cultists had taken that away from him.

Song 10: Whatcha Doin'? (Phineas and Ferb)

Some random kid in South Park liked to randomly visit the three of them. They never let her in the house, but sometimes she would sneak in anyway. She had a crush on Butters. One day she looked at Kenny too closely and instantly went insane. Kenny transferred his soul to her body.


End file.
